Motherhood Can Be Dark


It all starts somewhere after all the hype surrounding your pregnancy. You grow more tired, you are worried about your bundle of joys' development, your health, your new role and you just don't feel like yourself anymore...you actually are beginning to feel more...motherly if this is your first pregnancy. If you are working on your next child, you are feeling an extreme case of possibly exhaustion. The point is, you have reached a season where you may feel alone. WHAT?! Some may say. Yes, motherhood can be a lonely place sometimes. The reasoning for this is not complex at all. The reason is because it is a lonely process, it is a process that you do... alone. Yes, you may have your village, your tribe, your spouse and all those other groups of comforting people that are in place to support you however, ultimately, it is the mother that has to get the job done. I mean your husband can't birth the child now can he? Motherhood is filled with many, many highs and we love those days right?! They are bubbly, they are beautiful and you feel nothing but bursts of bliss! Dauntingly enough, lows settle in sometimes and it hits us like a ton of bricks. We are suddenly in a place where we feel overwhelmed and exhausted. We realize, my gosh I am feeling lonely because no one quite understands how I feel right now in this moment.


In the movie Tully, Marlo has reached her breaking point as she births her third child. She is encouraged to expand her tribe by hiring a night nanny that will come into her home at night to take care of the baby while she gets much needed rest between feedings. While this idea initially seemed to bring much angst, she eventually decided to give the idea of this situation a chance to manifest in her thoughts. As, this situation became more vivid we eventually discover after a car accident, that that's exactly where Tully remained. It was a figment of Marlo's imagination BUT not exactly. What Marlo was experiencing was a case of extreme exhaustion. Tully her "night nanny" was her younger self. This was discovered when her husband met with doctors . The doctors shared with him that she has a case of extreme exhaustion. Although after further research I found that in real life she may have been experiencing a form of Postpartum Depression called Postpartum Psychosis (PPP). It is a very rare form of Postpartum Depression however, it does exist and it can be dangerous, which we saw manifest in the film. While her husband thought she was doing great, the reality was that his wife had sunken into a state of darkness and mental warfare, all unbeknownst to him.

The point is that Motherhood can be a dark place in some seasons. Rather it is the season of infancy or the season of teenage years, it can feel lonely when you are tasked with trying to make adequate decisions for the well being of your child.

Here is where I challenge us all to look at the bright side of this dark place. It is from our darkness and lonesome space that we birth much greatness from ourselves. You see, we birth new life and in the process new life is birthing us as well. It's a beautiful reciprocal system that doesn't receive much attention. There are so many moms that are: advocates for mother's rights because of the darkness, business executives because of the darkness and entrepreneurs because of the darkness. What's even more beautiful and empowering about this is that many of these roles are in place to serve other women and moms. I have found so many women entrepreneurs and their services are for mothers and women. So, before the sun is down or before your head hits the pillow on those low days, try to conceptualize a way to channel the bitter energy that you feel into doing something you actually enjoy. It's not easier said than done. Believe me, I challenge myself as well. How do you think this post was made possible? (SMILE)

You got this girl and you are an amazing mother...I just know it! Happy Mother's Day!


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