Dear Ten Year Younger Self,
Girl, trust the process, you are YOUNG! As a 10 year elder to you, I understand why you feel time is ticking. You have been mothering technically since 17 and now at 23ish you feel your life needs stability in a couple areas. Ericka, it isn’t as bad as you think, I mean some areas are BUT troubles don’t last and you know that! Let’s chat through some of this stuff.
Employment. I know you have your eyes on being a big time PR or Advertising Executive but if you trust the process, something great is going to come out of all of this. I didn’t agree with the way they treated you at that company but them letting you go is going to bring some exciting opportunities for you. If you are wondering why you are experiencing racism in 2009, it is preparing you for the state of the union in ten years, you won’t be surprised because race issues would not be your first rodeo. People will probably question why you aren’t as upset as they are and they will probably talk about decisions you make but just understand better days for you are coming. TRUST THE PROCESS.
Adulting. Having a kid in school, paying bills, wanting to feel accomplished and having a relationship that feels in question is enough to make you feel as though your back is up against the wall with time. THIS IS A TEST. Be patient, you will reap your harvest. Oh, and yes grad school is important but you have to do what’s best for you. I know you feel like a failure for dropping out but it was a great decision. It resurfaces in ten years and you kill it and it represents so much to those around you.
Love. Ericka, I know some feel you are rushing and to be honest, you are still very young girl! However, I do understand your anxiousness with wanting to be in a relationship that is actively moving towards marriage but remember, there is still time and you will need it to evaluate if you still want the life you imagined back in 7th grade. Remember? Stay at home mom and entrepreneur? You are operating from FEAR and you probably don’t realize it. If you trust the process, you will be married by the time you are 30. It will be to the person that you told you could see yourself with forever (remember that email?). However, you have to understand your anxiousness and desire to rush is not worth it because YOU ARE YOUNG! I do applaud you for being open and honest about the life you want, not everyone at your age can identify what they want and stick to it.
Motherhood. First, I am proud of you. You birthed a baby and never looked back. Just remember the little girl needs you. She is a shy girl, but you will see a change in her in 10 years and it will make you so proud. Stop doubting everything you do for her, you are a doing a great job! For heaven's she's in private school, I would say you are giving it your best!
Although it seems that nothing is manifesting the way you want it, your story and journey will inspire others around you. Things may feel rocky now but it's so temporary. I'm proud of you. I love you the way you are.
Love, Thirty-Three year old married, SAHM with 5 children, a dog and business owner, Ericka.
HINDSIGHT IS 20/20
Ten years ago, I was ready to do all the things I am doing today, so I thought. I am so thankful for the growing pains that manifested during that time because it gave me the perspective I have today. Ten years ago, that girl felt like her back was against a wall because she was young and had adult responsibilities. This is much like many women I see and know. We feel pressures (from society) to race against a clock as we develop. We feel that every milestone that is to happen in our lives, is measured against a fictitious timeline that holds us captive. It paralyzes our ability to think rationally resulting in us making decisions that are centered around others thoughts and perceptions of us. NOT COOL!
My younger self was all about the things she wanted to do and she was hellbent on those ideals and to be honest, she did what she wanted (ask her husband). Nevertheless, I am proud of her, she begin to trust the process about three years later and she has evolved into the “becoming” woman you see today. My advice to you mama is to keep your head up. Keep evolving, you are doing a great job and I know you need to hear it!