Astonishingly enough, relationships between women are the most valued, yet can be the most difficult to maintain. And when you become a mama, friendships are detrimental to your sanity, however they are still tough to maintain, why is that?
I read on the Sisterhood Collective below:
The 5 reasons why women betray each other, as Iyanla Vanzant – relationship expert and New York Times best-selling author – sees them are the following:
1) Self-hatred. We see in others something we don’t like about ourselves, and we point it out in them because as long as we do that, we don’t have to point the finger at ourselves.
2) Taking relationships for granted. We don’t treat our relationships with respect, we don’t honor them. We fail to recognize when someone is putting in the work, and we get frustrated when they stop.
3) External validation. We expect others to make us feel good about ourselves, and when they don’t deliver, we tend to get mean.
4) Mimicking others’ behaviors. If we saw women in our family or local community betray their friends, we’ll go into the world thinking that’s the way it should be.
5) Unrealistic expectations. Our expectations for what someone should do for us can be very different than what they can actually do for us. When we’re not getting what we think we deserve, we lash out.
Whew, Sis! Do you agree with these?
I just posed his question on facebook and I am loving what’s being uncovered.
On of my friends replied, "It's the narrative we have been told by our parents, the proverbial, “You don’t need any friends, I am your friend.” " I can’t lie, I feel convicted because I am guilty of preaching this. Why?
Would you believe we say it of endearment and frustrations?
As a parent we are extremely upset when we see our children hurt over the debacle of friendship drama, especially depending on the nature of the blow up. Additionally, we want our children to know “You’ve got a friend in me.” Consequently, as I think about this, it's not completely true. Yes, we want a friendship BUT its conditional and we don't talk about that part.
Here is the deal, we need our friends. Our friends serve as a beautiful extension of our family, and they can be the backbone to our successes and our encouragement. Think about it.