Giving yourself permission is something that moms seem to struggle with. We are plagued with this notion that we must be everything to everyone and keep our cool because if we don’t, well then, we are the queen of bitchdom. We convince ourselves that if we give ourselves permission to do something that brings us pleasure or gives us a voice, we are possibly doing too much. Well mama’s, let's challenge ourselves to take back the narrative. Making changes are not only good for ourselves and our wellbeing but it's great for our children. They will see us taking care of ourselves and it's a great example for them to understand the concept of making time for themselves and not being a people pleaser. Here are a couple ways we can give ourselves permission.
Be Abrupt - Giving yourself permission can be sudden. Its a decision you must make and act on immediately. Doing this, you put yourself in a position to commit to what it is you need to do to take care of you.
Say NO - I know Shonda Rhimes talks about her Year of YES and I know it was truly fulfilling. However, as moms we say YES a lot. We say it to the dinner party, we say it to the kids when they want something for the millionth time, we say it at church, we say it to the PTO/PTA and the list goes on. Saying YES so often, has led us into depression, anxiety causing situations and overly exhausted. Use your YES for things that fulfill you! Make your YES count and we can do this by
saying NO and sometimes stepping down from some of the things we had committed to. ( Read The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst it will speak to your heart)
Be Consistent - Giving yourself permission is not a one time deal. This is something you have to be committed to. Above all, you deserve it. Being consistent sends the message to others that you take yourself serious, you are in tune with your needs and its non-negotiable.
Set Boundaries - As women we are naturally nurturing. We take others hardships and we immediately think of ways we can help and that's what I love about us. We are naturally giving and caring. In the same breath, this can come back to bite us. Mamas, sometimes we take on more than we can handle. We allow too many other things into our world and in turn it can have an impact on our homefront. We can remedy this by setting boundaries.
Giving yourself permission is all about caring for yourself. It's about making time for the things you feel you need for YOU. It's about taking control over your anxieties and making room for a clearer headspace. It's not about being mean or unpleasant. It's about loving you and being in alignment with what you know you need. There is nothing about that, that causes for an attitude. It's about being the Boss Mom (not bossy) I know your are! Give yourself permission today and yes, you should be able to do it with a smile!