This is a guest post written by Kita Bryant. Kita is a blogger in Atlanta and known for her SHAT talking! Basically, Kita tells it like it is and holds nothing back! She has two beautiful children (Boy & Girl) and ... I will tell you more after you read this!
All teenagers have attitude. I think girls have it more than boys due to their body changes and the period and all the other stuff that comes with the pressure of being a girl. Boys though are different and handling their attitude requires a different mindset. Boys and girls are different even as an adult so in order to deal with them, I strongly believe you have to put yourself in their shoes and listen to them. Also, boys need to be around men. My son's father passed away and I make it a point to make sure his uncles come and get him because I’m not a man so I don’t have all of the answers. My son isn’t a rude boy he is very mild mannered and only gets an attitude when he can’t get on his electronics or he is hungry. Any other time he is a very chill dude. Here are some tips that I have as a mom of a boy that can help you as you raise your son to be the best man he can be.
Pick your battles
I don’t argue with my son about every little thing just the things that mean the most. If he leaves his clothes in the middle of the floor I just pick it up and put it in his bed or take his phone until it’s done. See...no arguing just action. He knows why I took his phone and he will immediately do what needs to be done or ask what he needs to do to get it back. I will argue with him about his grades because those are important to me because I believe in education but clothes being picked up and minor things I don’t argue with him about. Find what’s important for you in your household and make your point with that.
Shake up how you deal with the attitude
My son fell out when I took his fortnite so I was mad the first time and took the remote out of the room. He found a way to hook that up to his computer so now I shake it up. If he has an attitude about something I don’t automatically take his things I may make him go on a walk, or go up and down the stairs 10 times, or give him extra chores to do. I do something different each and every time.
Don’t just listen to hear listen to understand. I think sometimes as parents we are so busy being the authority figure that we forget that we were kids too. My mom didn’t listen to me a lot when I was a child it was do as I say I’m the parent type of thing so I make sure to listen to my kids needs not just chuck it off. If my son says he hates school I try to ask why. 9 times out of 10 it’s not the school he hates, it’s a particular teacher. Or it could be that he is being bullied. You have to sometimes read between the line just know that if they say they hate school it’s something going on at the school that they hate. Your job as the parent is to get to the bottom of it without making your son feel out of place
Some mornings when he doesn’t get his school work done at night we go at it. I’m upset because he doesn’t get his stuff done. When I drop him off to school he leaves angry out of the car. I make sure I text him (his favorite mode of communication) to tell him how I felt and I always end with how proud I am of him trying. That makes a huge difference in his attitude when I recognize him as a person and I speak to him with an uplifting tone.
Having a teenager can be difficult but it doesn’t have to be. The key is to treat them like you would want to be treated and take their feelings into consideration. Yes they are growing and learning but so are you.
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