Motherhood On The Other Side Of Social Media

IF you missed my facebook post yesterday about the drama that ensued as I decided to take the kids for a nice lunch downtown with their father, this is what you missed:

“This is me, just smiling through a hot mess express! I decided to take the kiddos downtown for lunch with daddy, you know, nice mom/wife ish. Well, it was a complete and utter S&@t show! The place was not wheelchair accessible, the clouds started rolling in, the children were hot because we resorted to outdoor seating, they were all sweating, the pizza order was completely wrong, the fries were cold, the pizza was soggy, they didn’t bring me a drink menu, the babies were crying. Jisele is crying because she said she doesn’t like mosquitos and Jenesis was crying because well, it’s still Tuesday. It was complete chaos. I packed up the kids, told the husband we will catch him at will have to read the blog TOMORROW to find out how this mess ended. I will say, I’m home now and I fully appreciate my suburban life. Follow me on Instagram! @becomingTheMrs”

So, let’s pick up the story.

Here I am, nestled in a pot of complete frustration seasoned with failure. My husband hadn’t made it to Gino’s East yet (stuck on a work call), so I texted him “I’m Over It and this was an epic fail.” Poor guy, he tried to reel me out of my sunken place but I was over it, you could have roasted me like a pig at this point. I failed myself and the kids. I graze over, Jay was sweating profusely so, I had the oldest daughter to grab my sun visor from the van so that I could at least block some of the rays.

I then glanced over to my middle school daughter who unfortunately, had to pick every single topping off her slice (remember the order was wrong), it looked like a planet full of craters, naked and bare. She then held her slice in the air and it was as floppy as a flag waving in the wind, cue the Star Spangled Banner. My gosh this was awful, I thought.

Jenesis finally calmed down but not Jisele. Between the mosquito bites and feeling like a bastard child as she longed for her father, she was in a sunken place right along with me. I felt her pain.

I looked over at Jay, the sweat continued and the visor was peeping down his face. Because of the position of his headrest and his limited control over his head, it had made its way to eyelevel. So, in hot mess express fashion, I decided to move him completely to the opposite side of the table. Here I am moving the table and chairs to clear enough width space for the wheelchair to maneuver through, insert damsel in distress here!

Suddenly, I think about all of my fellow mom bloggers touring the city effortlessly with their cute pictures and children appearing to have the time of their lives, so much for trying to emulate that experience. There were no cute pictures, no instagrammable foods or spunky caption about enjoying a day in the city. I digress.

Moments later, the server rolled around asking how was everything and I was annoyed. I wanted to rip his face off and bang into the soggy pizza, but he mentioned he was bringing out another pizza as a make-good for their mistake. I was mad y’all! The girls ate a slice of the new pizza and we decided to pack up the camp and leave with our soggy pizza, sweaty foreheads and still no father in sight (SO much for meeting dad for lunch. Rolls eyes)

As we loaded in the van sprinkles of rain began to plop down on the windshield of my minivan window and it solidified my failed attempt to be the blogger mom who took her kiddos into the city for fun and cute pictures. Just then a text comes in from my husband, “Pick me up from the office.” At last, he was coming to rescue me from his children, I was encouraged!

I scolded him via text to tell him if he didnt come down instantly, I was going to leave and head home. I was over it. Soon he walked out and he directed me to a cute Ice Cream parlor in the West Loop called Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream. It was a hipster ice cream parlor with flavors that were sure to win the kids over at this point. Daddy Saves The Day!!!!! know how that goes.

I was thankful.

We ordered a flight of ice cream flavors, ten to be exact and we dug in. I would cast all of my pain and sorrow of soggy pizza into every taste of the Frose Rose, brambleberry crisp, Roasted Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam, this place is nirvana, please try it!

The afternoon ended with Jisele being swept off her feet to head to the office with the savior, her dad. While myself and the four remaining kiddos trucked it back to the suburbs in an hour of traffic jamming to my new Summertime playlist. My husband did indeed save the day.