This morning was going to be different. I would wake up at 4 am and get my day started. Now, I had been planning this for about two weeks. My new routine would be waking up between 3 and 4 am to get a headstart on my day. I was going to totally do what “those other” blogger moms do and have my alone time, sip my tea crush my to-do list. You know, a shower unbothered, cook breakfast, throw a load in the washer and clean all the things that I don’t have a chance to clean on a regular basis. EVERYTHING.
I can’t lie, I talked myself out of this new routine many times over just this morning. Nevertheless, there has been nudging from God for me to wake at this time (I will share more about that another time), so I got up. IT WAS HARD. I said to myself, wow is this what it's like to be one of those moms or even a Kardashian? No wonder why they are so together and seem to have life figured out. Here I come too!
I started a pot of grits (I love grits!). I took a lovely hot shower, washed my face thoroughly and brushed my teeth (WIN). Next, I would brush my hair back, put on my mom uniform (black leggings and a tshirt...don't act like you didn't know) and add a cardigan to dress it up.
I meditated and prayed, It was a really beautiful moment to be present with my thoughts and God.
My husband awakens and poor guy, he’s completely confused at my “new found routine.” I can’t blame him. He began to whisper a couple of questions, Where did you go? Wait, are you dressed? What are you doing? I replied that I was trying something new. What happens next, is nothing short of what should be of a surprise.
Jenna (the 18-month-old) decided to wake. I nursed here and laid her down, DONE! I gently covered her and proceeded to the family room to write. Just as I began the first sentence, I heard a piercing scream and cry from the level above me. It was Jissy (the 3eenager). I closed my machine and ran upstairs. You know, that mom fear that your child may have fallen so you sprint. Yeah, that was me.
Just as I approached the room to my 3eenager, my 18-month-old decided to wake up crying as well. At this point. My de facto plan of Beyonce and Kardashian dreams was a bust...sorta.
I proceeded to prance down to the family room, one child on each hip. I made waffles, waffles were crumbled on me, I held a kid, the next kid was clinging on my leg. I administered popsicles to alleviate the cries and then, I lost my grits! Where are my d*** GRITS?! How do you misplace a bowl grits? At this point, my husband is up and he’s trying to help. I think he feels bad that my new routine had been infiltrated on by his children (notice I have given him all the rights to these bossy toddlers). His wife is under attack and he feels responsible. But He’s not.
Here's the point...
I am sharing this because I actually can only chuckle about moments like this because they have been the ebb and flow of my life. However, I want you to know that everything is perception. While some people are waking up and having these perfect instagrammable moments, it's okay if you aren’t and guess what, to be real, they may not be having those moments either. The point is, to run your race, whatever that may look like. Creating new routines doesn't always come easy and it takes 14 days to really solidify the routine anyway. So give yourself grace.
Sinking Heels of Motherhood is REAL! Every day we think we have it under control and then BOOM there goes our heels sinking yet again. BUT we are resilient! We keep going, we keep trying and we don't give up.
It is officially 6 am and I have accomplished many things that I typically don't accomplish by this time so for that, all is not lost.
Be the best YOU today and only use what other people do as inspiration, not a blueprint to your own journey.