I sat there and I watched them literally tear up the house. I did. I sat there and I watched it because I felt helpless. I didn’t want to stop their fun because to be honest, they aren’t leaving the house these days and the effort it takes to yell, I just didn’t have. So, I sat and I watched as they literally rip the room apart. I said nothing. I drank my cup of Tahitian Treat Soda (Judge Not) and I said nothing. I was practically a church mouse.
This is me sharing my truth and the truth of so many mamas. We sit there, and we watch because we feel exhausted and the energy it takes to yell and fix the mess, sometimes just doesn't feel worth it. I understand.
So, I get the question all the time, “How do you do it.” It’s a question I bounce back and ask myself, “Ericka, how DO you do it?” The honest answer is, I just do what I can. I will push myself to the limits, but I have learned over time (trial and error), occasionally I do have to take a step back and not do all the things because the things will be waiting for me ANYWAY. So, rushing to complete the checklist today, while my cup is empty, is not worth it. These sentiments always make me think about the serenity prayer.
The serenity prayer is really popular, however, have you ever really thought about it as it pertains to your parenting or mothering journey? The great theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, who might I add is a fellow Elmhurst (College) University graduate like myself and my husband, is the author of that prayer.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
To be honest mamas sometimes, we have moments we are in that situation we don’t have the wherewithal to change what we are faced with at that moment and that is okay! It’s best if we focus on the things we can muster up the courage to change and understand the difference.
But have you ever considered the rest of the prayer? Allow this to bless ya spirit, it goes on and says,
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
THAT PART I don't, know if that hit your spirit the way it hit mines, but it makes me feel a little bit better about my situation.
Motherhood is hard, and we all know that, but at the end of the day the show must go on, and we have to find ways to fill our cup, so we can do the same thing the next day. While most times I am not operating from a full cup, because the turnaround time is just not realistic (JUST BEING REAL), I am aware when my cup literally has droplets left to give. My limits have been reached.
So, the next time you find yourself standing in the middle of the floor or sitting on the couch and watching your kids literally tear up the house, know you are standing on the shoulders and holding the hands of many other mothers/parents who are feeling those same emotions you are. Recite the serenity prayer and apply it to your current situation.
It's a marathon! Motherhood is one race you will be in until the end of your days and guess what, the residuals will still be left behind for your children, remember your child's inner voice is yours, so make sure that wisdom and love is GOOOOD! Take it easy on yourself.
I am rooting for you, I am rooting for us.